From
Living Theology in the Metropolitan Chicago Synod
Evangelical Lutheran Church In America
Volume 2, Number 1
Epiphany 1997
Ministerial Formation
Taking Time for the Soul
Jack Finney
When asked to reflect on what makes a healthy pastor, my
initial thought was to create a check list--exercise, rest, good nutrition,
massage, time off, time for family and friends, prayer time, study, spiritual
direction, time for fun, therapy when needed and physical checkups.
But what is foundational to doing all those things and even
believing we deserve to do them, is our need to know with every cell of our
body that God loves us, all of us. That
we are accepted just as we are. That we
need not prove our worth or value. I
need to return to that truth over and over again and have that truth come to
me.
Few if any of us are over-indulging in prayer and
devotional life, like Luther, in order to win God’s approval. Each generation
finds its own ways to seek to be justified by works. But today these ways can
be deceptive because some of them are culturally valued. Here are six ways we can get tripped up, all
of them promoting unhealthiness.
1. The
illusion of being indispensable--always on call:
pagers, beepers, voice mail, call waiting.
The Psalmist writes, “He who keeps Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps,”
but this insomniac God is Spirit. On
the other hand, the Incarnate One did go off by himself--was sometimes
unavailable. It took him three days to
show up when he heard of Lazarus’ illness.
He took a nap in the boat while his friends were panicking. Like Jesus, we have physical and emotional
limits of energy. When I announce that
parishioners can call me at home from 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. for
non-emergencies I am communicating I have energy limits and I am honoring my
body rhythms. When I go on regular
retreats I am modeling the need we all have for sabbath time. The Spirit is always available, but it is
unhealthy to think we can be.
2. Workaholism--telling
parishioners about our 80 hour weeks, how we don’t get a day off (while it is our responsibility to take a day off). It is status in our culture to be “Oh, so
busy.” The Workaholic Anonymous groups
that met at our church disbanded because people were too busy to attend.
When we regularly give a litany of our overload are we
seeking the praise and affirmation of our people, so the hole in us can be
temporarily filled?
Where is the place for God’s grace in this? Living by God’s grace is foundational to
health and wholeness.
Martin Luther writes, “I command you and the entire circle
of my friends to force you, under the threat of an anathema, to observe regular
habits for the sake of your health, so that you do not commit suicide and then
pretend you did it in obedience to God.
For we also serve God by doing nothing, in fact in no way more than by
doing nothing. For this reason, God,
above all things, wanted the Sabbath so rigidly kept. See to it that you do not despise this. What I am writing is the word of God.”
3. Needing
to be in control. Know all, be everywhere. “Why have committees? Our pastor steers everything her way.” It is a sign of health to allow the Spirit
to work, sometimes behind our backs, often in
surprising ways, and sometimes in people we’d least expect. We need to let go, trust the Spirit and our
people. It is humbling to remember how
little control we do have. We can’t
fix, heal, or save people. We can only
cultivate the soil or plant seeds so the Spirit can work. It’s a delicate balance to be appropriately
in charge, to provide leadership, but not become overly fascinated with
control.
4. Acting
the Lone Ranger. The soloist pastor or lay professional feels a need to
do everything. To have all the
gifts. In contrast, the New Testament
presents a description of a healthy community in which a variety of gifts have
been distributed and each person discerns and shares his and her gifts. We name this the priesthood of all
believers, but do we believe it and live it out? I learned a healthy lesson over 20 years ago when I attended a
conference for senior pastors. We were
asked to compile and read a one page sheet describing our ministry
setting. After I read mine one of the
leaders said, “It sounds like you are wearing an invisible sign that reads, “It
all depends on me!” Ouch! No wonder I was so weary. I think about that feedback often.
We model health to our congregations when we become clear
what our gifts are and are not. It is
wise to shape our ministry around our gifts and trust that others in the
community have been given the gifts we lack.
When we’re able to have staff we look for people whose gifts complement
ours. I realize in every vocation we
have to do some tasks we do not enjoy, but the less the better. The clearer we are in saying yes to our gifts, the easier it is to
say no to those areas that are not
our gifts.
5. Persona
versus authenticity. It’s easy
to play a role in such a public profession as ministry--to perpetually smile
and operate on automatic pilot, repeating the same script wherever we are,
while losing touch with our souls, our uniqueness, our feelings. A sign of health is to be authentic, to be
real.
I like to compare the persona to a thermometer, being authentic to a thermostat. A thermometer records the temperature, a
thermostat regulates it. A thermometer
is outer directed, a thermostat inner directed.
A thermometer minister takes her cues from feedback, expectations,
complaints, and compliments, hopping like popcorn to every request or criticism
until she eventually no longer knows who she is. We call her a pleaser. A
thermostat minister lives out of prayer and a rich inner life. Much time is spent listening to one’s true
self, feelings, dreams, body sensations and most importantly to the Still Small
Voice. This calls for daily prayer,
spiritual discipline, resting in God, being in love.
6. Perfectionism is another deceptive
way to attempt to be justified by works.
We think if we can do it perfectly, especially worship, we’ll be able to
live with ourselves and/or our people will love us. A healthy professional or lay leader has a sense of humor. “Blessed are those who can laugh at
themselves. They shall never cease to
be amused.” There will be mistakes,
missed opportunities, hurt feelings.
But mercy and forgiveness have the last word.
We might ask, “Will this error in the bulletin, or the
missed cue by the organist, matter five years from now?” Do
we give a ten cent error ten dollars worth of energy?
Can we let others do tasks even if they might not do them
perfectly, therefore making the pastor not look good? (Oops! We’re back to self justification.)
By
the way, it is illusion to think we’ll ever get caught up, and that when we
finally do then we can take a day off.
We need the grace to live with incompleteness. A prayer in the “New Zealand Prayer Book” says it well: “Lord, it
is night. The night is for
stillness. Let us be still in the
presence of God. It is night after a
long day. What has been done has been
done. What has not been done has not
been done.” Living this way is not as easy as it sounds. The traps I mentioned, as well as others,
need to be confronted again and again. Unfortunately
some of us need to reach the point of exhaustion or illness, getting out of
balance, before we are called back to the place of not taking ourselves and our
work so seriously and bathing once more in the lavish grace of God.
In conclusion, when we know we are loved and accepted by
God we are more likely to be able to take care of ourselves. We will feel we are worthy of self care, of
honoring our body and of taking time for our souls.
Jack Finney
Pastor, Good Shepherd, Oak Park