From
Living Theology in the Metropolitan Chicago Synod
Evangelical Lutheran Church In America
Volume 1, Number 5
Advent 1996
Women in the Church
The
Multicultural Women’s Dialogue has been going on at Lutheran School of Theology
at Chicago since 1992. Following are excerpts from a transcript of a reflecting
on what group members had learned from their experiences together.
·There's the pseudo assumption that because we're
women we share a common bond. But that's not necessarily true.
·As an African American woman, I deal with issues
differently than my white, Hispanic, Asian and even my other African American
sisters. A white woman dealing with something emotionally is totally different
than a black women dealing with something emotionally.
·I grew up interpreting silence as a sign of
respectful listening. It surprised me that when white women were silent in our
group, it was perceived to be withdrawal or hiding. I learned that sometimes I
do use silence that way, as a way of trying to be safe. My assumptions also
changed about anger. I was trained my whole life not to express anger. Tears
were safer. I learned that it is very different for other women. From several
African American women, I learned that tears aren’t useful in times of danger;
that you have to fight. To stand up for yourself.
·For me the trust factor was so important and it's
what made me stick with it because I learned to trust the women in the group
regardless of who you were. We were baring our souls. That didn't come easy.
·There were white woman who didn't know how to
struggle or how to stand the struggle. And that is one of the reasons they did
not share. They were hearing all this stuff that we were going through—
experiences that they did not have. White women’s struggles have solutions and
things to protect them; while our struggles, as women of color, have no ending.
White women don't know how to go on and on. There isn’t the stamina.
·We as women of color were brought up very early on
to speak up. If you didn't speak out, you were trampled. If it hurts you,
holler.
·But for certain women of color, to speak out is
culturally wrong. For Asian women that this is just a no-no. Am I right in
saying this?
·All of us have dealt with systems as women and as
women who have created ways to survive. And what was wonderful was to look at
new systems of survival that you never considered because you're so busy
surviving
·I remember one night in particular when a white
woman said something vulnerable and about two sentences later a woman of color
said, “you white women don’t share anything.” I wondered if she didn’t hear or
if the tone of voice was not communicating deep feeling and passion. Some of
our misunderstandings may be rooted in our styles of communication.
·It was so hard for me to identify with the pain of
white women because it didn't feel like she was coming from the same
experience. I'm "typing" it. This is really bad, this is really bad.
Many times when I went home I really had to do some real soul searching so I
could understand "Well, yeah, that really was pain. That really was pain
for her."
·I felt like I was in the UN and every one was
speaking a different language and we had to translate. By the end of the night
I was washed.
·When a white woman says that was annoying, they
basically meant that that flattened them to the ground. When some body else
says it basically destroyed my soul, it was something that they’re used to
dealing with.
·Sometimes we need to wander in the wilderness. To
find exactly what this dialogue is
about.